Honor Defense
by Clearly Odd
Summary: In which Dave is a DJ, Nepeta's honor is called into question, and Karkat does a lot of things he really does not want to do. Karkat/Nepeta, Equius/Aradia, Dave/Jade


A Secret Santa gift for tumblr user peixes-royalty.

-/-/-

This was completely and utterly fucking stupid, Karkat decided.

Stupider than most of the things this group of socially incompetent nookstuffers did, which was saying something, it really was.

Karkat had not wanted any of this. He hadn't wanted to have his turtleneck confiscated. He had not wanted to be manhandled by Harely into a pair of jeans and a button down he hadn't been aware he'd owned. He most certainly had not wanted to be crammed into a vehicle between Nepeta and her sweaty, overbearing moirail, only to be blushed and glared at in turns for the entirety of the trip (having lost shotgun to Aradia really only added insult to injury). And he really hadn't wanted to be dragged along on this little excursion to see Strider DJ at some club filled with undulating, over-sexed, and drunken morons. Karkat did _not_ like Strider that much. Which wasn't to say that he liked him at all. But if he _did_ like him, then he would not like him that much. And now he was sitting at a vaguely sticky table off the side of a dance floor full of undoubtedly vaguely sticky people, watching the drinks of his highly ungrateful friends.

The evening had started out uncomfortably enough; Karkat had taken the inside seat of the booth and slumped unhappily against the wall while Nepeta took the seat across from him, looking around with the sort of dazed wonder of a first-time club-goer. Equius sat very stiffly next to her, looking both disapproving and distantly intrigued by his surroundings and Aradia sat next to him, exhibiting all the enthusiasm of a human wriggler at a confection-smothered human wriggling-day party. Jade had taken her seat next to Karkat after returning with drinks.

They had all sat, shouting at each other over the eardrum-ripping music provided by Strider-though Karkat found it was best to keep his peace on the subject of the music after Jade had smacked him in the back of the head the first time he'd expressed his dislike-sipping their drinks, and watching the other patrons of their shared hellhole gyrate on the dance floor. No one made a move to join them, however, and settled for bursts of discussion that were made awkward by the level of volume required to make themselves heard in between Jade's observances of how great Dave was doing up on stage. But that hadn't lasted.

Aradia had been the first to desert. Low on the hemospectrum though she was, Aradia was full of curves and curls and an infectious enthusiasm that drew people to her almost instantly as she swirled into the crowd of dancers. Equius had been even more rigid and unpleasantly sweaty after her departure, picking her out of the crowd whenever she became visible with a disturbing amount of precision. "Go ask her to dance!" Nepeta had finally urged.

"I- No, I simply couldn't." He'd objected, crossing his arms in a show of determination.

Of course, Nepeta hadn't maintained her status as Equius' moirail for so long by giving in easily. The small troll was nothing if not almost embarrassingly persistent. "Oh, don't purrtend you don't want to! Get out there!" She began to push at Equius, trying to dislodge him from the booth.

"Nepeta, stop that immediately!" Equius, probably out of fear of damaging the girl, did nothing more than attempt to keep his seat.

Then Jade joined in Nepeta's badgering. "Oh, go on! Just go and ask her to dance, Equius, it won't kill you!" She'd cajoled, "Look, even Karkat thinks you should just go for it. Right, Karkat?"

Oh, hell no. Being part of this argument had quickly made the list of things Karkat did not want to do that night… but ended up doing anyway. Between being nudged with Jade's insanely pointy elbows and fixed with the pleading stare of a tiny, hopeful, and kind of adorable-and he should've been immune to that, what the fuck?-Nepeta, Karkat had sighed and jabbed his finger out towards the dance floor. "If we end up being stuck with your mopey ass all night because you can't pull your shit together long enough to ask a girl who, fucking frankly, _obviously likes you_ to dance, you will never hear the end of it. Harley and Leijon probably won't shut up about it until you go."

There was a moment of relative silence in the wake of Karkat's statement and before Equius could really get up in arms about it, Nepeta had braced herself against the wall and shoved him out of the booth with more strength than anyone looking at her would have guessed she possessed. "Nepeta!" Equius had squawked indignantly as he regained his feet and Jade giggled at him.

He didn't have a chance to go into whatever tirade he had planned, though, because Aradia chose that moment shimmy over. "Equius! Let's go dance!" She'd insisted, grabbing one large hand and tugging at him.

"I- I really…" Equius stumbled over his words.

"What's the holdup? Come on, it's so much fun!"

"I do not wish to harm you in anyway, Aradia." The tall troll had finally admitted.

Aradia's mouth had scrunched up into an unimpressed sort of frown. "Don't be ridiculous, you won't hurt me. Come on!" And with that, she'd dragged Equius into the crowd, the blue blood stuttering half-hearted protests that were lost in the beat of music the whole way.

Nepeta and Jade had shared a laugh and Karkat was just glad the ordeal hadn't resulted in property damage, because he really did not feel like adding "paid for a broken bar booth" to the list of things he hadn't wanted to do that night but had anyway.

Shortly after that, some guy had wandered up to the table and asked Nepeta to dance. "O-oh. Uhm." Nepeta had glanced around the table, first at Karkat, who gave no indication that he was at all interested in what was taking place-he wasn't, obviously-and then to Jade, who nodded at the girl enthusiastically, and Nepeta nodded in turn at the guy, "Okay, sure!"

Nepeta had disappeared into the crowd with a swish of her olive green skirt, leaving Jade and Karkat to themselves. That had lasted all of 10 minutes. "Oh, Dave's set is over! Karkat, I'm gonna go find him, d'you mind?" Jade exclaimed in the brief silence that signified the changing of the DJ's.

"Why would I mind? You think I care if you want to abandon me at this repulsively sticky table to watch our drinks while you go suck face with Strider?" Karkat growled, crossing his arms over his chest, "I don't mind at all."

Rolling her eyes, Jade leaned on the edge of the table and frowned. "Dave and I aren't going to 'suck face' or whatever you think we're gonna do! We're probably just gonna dance. And if you're so bitter about being left out, why don't you just find someone to dance with?" She'd suggested.

Karkat's dramatized eye-roll beat Jade's by a mile. "That sounds like a horrendous idea. Like I want to just literally waltz up to some random, sweaty fuckass and ask them to invade my personal space."

"Oh, don't be such a drag! Nepeta's out there somewhere, ask _her_ to dance!" Jade demanded, and the resulting noise on Karkat's part would have been amusing if it didn't sound so painful, "Oh my god, Karkat, don't deny it. You want to dance with heeeerrr!"

The troll scowled at the girl's teasing but refused to rise to the bait. "Whatever. Why don't you just go find your asshat of a matesprit and leave the romantic advice to someone who actually knows what they're talking about?"

Jade's huff was lost under the sound of the next DJ starting his set and she stalked off through the crowd with the truly impressive snap of the soles of her shoes on the cement floor. Karkat had then sat through the next two discernible songs brooding over some off-brand lemon-lime soda. He caught sight of Equius and Aradia twice, Aradia still grinning enthusiastically and Equius looking monumentally unsure of himself, but determined nonetheless. Jade and Dave had stopped at the table once, where Dave finished off Equius' abandoned white Russian, grimacing at the sweaty fingerprints still smudged on the glass, and Jade nudged Karkat with her elbow several times in the most irritating fashion possible.

Before that escalated to violence, however (probably on Harley's part), Dave dragged her back out to dance. After that, the last thing Karkat had really expected was for Nepeta to come barreling out of the crowd towards him. "Karkat!" She gasped, stopping at the table and glancing behind her, "I think, maybe, I might have to leave now…"

"What? Why?" Karkat demanded, sitting up straight in the booth and looking into the crowd where Nepeta had leapt out.

"Because… um," The leo's face flushed olive, "The boy AC was- er, the boy I was dancing with… he was- he was being very rude and he grabbed my butt!"

"He _what?_" The slightly taller troll managed slide out of his seat finally and stood up next to Nepeta, "And he's after you?"

Nepeta seemed genuinely surprised. "What? Oh, no! I punched him! I think he might be unconscious now…" She admitted, "But the man at the bar saw and he started yelling, I think, so I might have to go now."

It really said something about Karkat's life that he didn't miss a beat at the news that Nepeta had felled someone with one punch. "Well we're not going to let you go by yourself, fuck. C'mon we'll find Harley and get out of here." He scanned the crowd for the familiar tangle of dark hair and round glasses that Jade was composed of.

"Oh, no, I don't want to ruin your guys' time! You should stay and have fun; I can get home on my own." Nepeta shook her head, tugging shyly at Karkat's sleeve.

"Are you kidding? This place is fucking horrible, I didn't even want to come. I'll take any excuse to get Harley to drive me back home." The young man scowled back at Nepeta, "Besides, you don't think everyone here would gladly call off whatever the fuck they're doing to defend you or something?"

Nepeta looked away, opening her mouth to reply, but nothing made it out before the bartender came stomping out of the crowd. "Hey! What the fuck are you tryin' to pull?" He demanded, marching up to the duo at the table, "If you're gonna get violent, you're gonna get out!"

"I wasn't-!" Nepeta began to protest at the same moment Karkat began to shout, "Why don't you lay the fuck off-!" and Equius, undoubtedly knowing he was needed though some sort of bizarre moirail sense, chose that moment to practically materialize next to Nepeta, Aradia not far behind. "What is going on here?" He demanded, crossing his dangerously well-muscled arms over his chest.

The bartender didn't seem terribly intimidated. "Your little friend here just punched someone out!" He pointed accusingly at Nepeta.

Equius scowled. "What is he talking about, Nepeta?"

"He surprised me, though! He grabbed me!" Nepeta frowned defiantly at the bartender, "_I _think he deserved it!"

"Is that true? Did the scoundrel in question grab my moirail?" Equius stepped toward the bartender, who at least had the sense to hold his hands up in some gesture of innocence.

"Hey, buddy, I didn't see any grabbing going on. Far as I could see, they were dancing like everyone else and then she punched him in the head!"

"Then you probably weren't watching carefully enough. I don't think Nepeta would just go around punching people for no reason." Aradia piped up.

"Look, I can't watch everyone close, I just have to make sure…" The barman started in his defense, only to be cut off by Karkat.

"Right, make sure you go and accuse people of violence when they've been molested by some buldgeshoving fucking creep."

"Karkat, I wasn't…" Nepeta nudged the boy, but he paid her no mind.

"Hey, what's going on?" Jade's voice cut over the music as she jogged up to the group with Dave in tow.

"This man is accusing Nepeta of perpetrating an act of violence," Equius pointed at the bartender in an accusation of his own.

"But I _did_ purrpetrate an act of violence!" Nepeta threw her arms up.

"Well the assfuck deserved it." Karkat tacked on.

"What happened?" Jade asked again, muscling her way past the bartender to stand next to Karkat.

"Someone grabbed Nepeta and now this jerk is saying she started it!"Aradia replied.

"_What_?" Jade looked ready to give the bartender a piece of her mind, but Dave gripped her wrist, subtly keeping her grounded.

"Look, I don't want any more trouble than we already got. If you guys're gonna keep this up, then you're all gonna have to get out!" The barman thrust a pointing finger at the door.

They all looked ready to argue the point until they were bodily thrown out (which honestly would have been a feat, considering) but Dave just snorted in amusement, barely discernible over the music, and shrugged. "Yeah, fine. Let's go."

"What? You think we should let this cur get away with insulting Nepeta's honor like this?" Equius turned his scowl on the blonde.

"Normally I'd be pretty down with tearing into this guy's obvious weak spots like a starving orphan into rich and tender pot roast-like that thing's been cooking all day and that meat is ready to fall off the bone. You wanna pick that sucker up? Too fucking bad, all you're gonna get is a handful of jack shit, that meat is gonna slip right through your fingers-that's how easy this guy would be," Dave didn't pause even a moment for the barman's offended protest, "But Nep doesn't really look like she wants to hang around to defend shit and, honestly, this place sucks anyway. I'm all for just getting the hell out of here."

Equius glanced back to Nepeta, who looked sheepishly up at him. "Let's just go, Equius. It's no fun here, anyway." She said, shooting a pointed look at the bartender.

With a final dirty look at the club employee who had somehow managed to stand his ground, they all acquiesced and headed out into the cold winter night to pile into the car. Not, however, before Dave told the bartender to tell his boss "not to contact any Strider in hopes of hiring their sick beats again."

"Are you certain you're alright, Nepeta?" Equius asked as the group shuffled through the slush of the parking lot, looking her over carefully.

Her cheeks were still flushed green from the heat of the club, or perhaps the heat of the argument that had taken place, and Karkat could see a few bruises dusting the knuckles of one hand, but she just smiled and waved the tall troll off. "I'm fine! I do feel bad that we all had to leave, though… and oh gosh, Dave lost his job!"

"Correction: _a_ job. That was just one gig. And a shitty one. Anyway, if they're gonna treat my friends like chopped liver-not even chopped liver, like rotten liver they're about to toss into a dumpster on garbage day-it's not a place I want to work." Dave shrugged.

Nepeta grinned-that happy and surprised smile that Karkat did not remember from when he'd gotten her something for her wriggling day earlier this year and also did not mind Strider being on the receiving end of-and hugged the blonde. "Thank mew." She giggled.

Jade leaned over and pecked Dave on the cheek when Nepeta released him. "You're a big sweetheart, you know that?" At this point, Karkat scowled and refrained from reminding everyone that _he_ had actually been standing up for Nepeta before everyone else had gotten their asses in gear. He wasn't in constant need of attention, unlike some people. "You also keep talking about food. Are you hungry, coolkid?" Jade continued.

"Shit, yeah, let's get some rotten liver." Dave smirked.

Jade scrunched her nose and frowned. "Ew."

"How about pancakes? I believe there must a diner open somewhere." Aradia suggested instead.

"Yeah, sounds good! And we can split between mine and Dave's cars so you're not all squished this time." Jade agreed, digging her keys out of her skirt pocket.

Everyone gave varying noises of ascent and Aradia called shotgun to Dave's car this time, pulling Equius along behind her, who glanced back looking for Nepeta, as the girl was curiously not trailing behind him. Karkat heard Jade say something about how it looked like he could ride shotgun this time before a call of his name caught his attention. He turned and received a torso wrapped in Nepeta, the shorter troll burying her face in his shoulder for a moment. "Thank you, Karkitty. It was furry sweet of you to stand up for me." She murmured, smiling shyly up at him.

"Yeah, well," Belatedly, Karkat, reached up and brought one arm around her back awkwardly, "We both know I was probably just making an idiot out of myself. It's not like you need anyone to stand up for you."

Nepeta's grin widened. "If I don't need anyone to, then why did you?"

"I…" Karkat scrambled for an answer before Nepeta leaned up and pecked him on the cheek.

"C'mon, let's go, Karkitty!" She released him and skipped across the slick parking lot towards Jade's car.

It took a bare moment for Karkat's mind to catch up. "You have got to stop calling me that, it's annoying as fuck." He demanded in response as he caught up to her physically.

The troll girl only giggled. "I like it, though! Karrrkitty." She rolled the 'r' for emphasis and grinned.

Karkat scowled. There would be absolutely no living with her now.

-/-/-


End file.
